Coaching vs. Counseling with Julie Parker
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between coaching and counseling? In today's conversation, Katie is delving into this topic with seasoned coach and trained therapist, Julie Parker. The rapid growth of the coaching industry brings with it a concern for the lack of adequate training for those holding space for trauma. We discuss the nuances of the coaching profession, the critical distinctions between coaching and traditional counseling, and why it's paramount for coaches to be not only trauma-informed but also to understand the scope of their practice.
Learn more about Julie:
Julie Parker (she/her) is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy, Co-Founder of Priestess Temple School and a mentor, counsellor, coach, supervisor, guide and certified breathwork facilitator for sacred leaders and space holders. She has trained thousands of life coaches from around the world to birth their soul businesses and has had a thriving counselling and coaching practice for nearly two decades.
Julie has inspired thousands of people as an in-demand speaker, is the recipient of numerous leadership and women’s awards, is an international award winning published author and as the host of two top ranking podcasts has interviewed some of the world’s great thought leaders. As a devoted and practising priestess, Julie is committed to contributing to a world where presence, healing and social justice are honoured.
Julie lives in Warragul, Victoria, Australia.
Connect with Julie:
Website: www.juliesuzanneparker.com or www.beautifulyoucoachingacademy.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julesyparker/ or https://www.instagram.com/bycacademy
Show Transcript:
If you are familiar with the coaching industry. If you are a coach, if you have you worked with a coach, if you're considering working with a coach, Maybe you love coaching. Maybe you're a little judgmental of it. This is the episode for you. In this episode, I am in conversation with my very own coach trainer, mentor and dear colleague and friend Julie Parker. Julie Parker who uses she/her pronouns is the founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy. Co-founder of priestess temple school. And a mentor, counselor, coach, supervisor guide, and certified breathwork facilitator for sacred leaders and space holders.
She has trained thousands of life coaches from around the world to birth their soul businesses and has had a thriving counseling and coaching practice for nearly two decades.
Julie has inspired thousands of people. As an in-demand speaker. Is the recipient of numerous leadership and women's awards is an international award-winning published author. And as the host of two top ranking podcast has interviewed some of the world's greatest thought leaders. As a devoted and practicing priestess, Julia is committed to contributing to a world where presence healing and social justice are honored.
I am so, so grateful to bring you this conversation with Julie.
It is a conversation where we go there, we talk and we just go right into. Unpacking. The the good and bad and everything in between about the coaching industry. We really unpack what it means to be a trauma informed coach. What it doesn't mean. And the future of coaching and how trauma informed care needs to be a part of that future. So without further ado, I give you my conversation with the Julie Parker.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): [00:00:00] Hi everyone and welcome back to A Trauma Informed Future Podcast. I am so eager to share with you and be in conversation with one person I so admire. I've learned so much from and continue to learn from and I'm so grateful for, which is Julie Parker. Julie, thank you so much for being here. It's always such a joy to be in your presence.
Julie Parker (she/her): Thank you, Katie. I'm delighted to be here and I feel exactly the same way about you.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): So I introduced you formally to everyone, but I would love for you to share just in your own words, who you are and how you're arriving today.
Julie Parker (she/her): Well, it's very early morning here for me, in Australia. That's the accent, everyone, if you are listening right now.
So it's not quite 7 a. m., but I love this time of day. I live in country Victoria in Australia. And we're moving into summertime at the moment. So the early mornings here are truly beautiful. And it's [00:01:00] often when I'm in my rose garden and picking roses for the day. And it creates such a beautiful environment for me to do my work, which like you Katie, involves a lot of deep space holding and training and education for people.
And I love it. And I really am passionate about what I do. And always delighted to be in conversation and talking about the richer and deeper topics like you support people with. So I'm honored to be here today.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Thank you so much. I love you're Rose Garden. It's so beautiful. I always tell myself one day I'm going to be a person that gardens.
It's not today, but one day it will be., so I just hold on to that vision. So Julie. Coaching has come up a lot on this podcast and purposely because I am a coach and you've known me since I became a coach because you trained me and evolved over the years and I always look to you as somebody in the coaching industry because you have been [00:02:00] in this field for so long and have So much experience, not just as a coach, but as a coach trainer and a coach supervisor.
You've also seen the ebbs and flows of this industry. Think it's so important, not just for people who are coaches listening, but who may experience coaching or just witnessing coaching in general, to talk about what we're seeing and the importance of having trauma informed care integrated into coaching and to spaceholding.
I would love to be in conversation with you today about coaching. I studied with Beautiful You Coaching Academy and we entered that as life coaches. It's that terminology of the Life coach, but there's a lot of life. So I'm curious if we can just start with some shared language, like what is actually life coaching?
Because I know what it is and I know what that means to me, but I think oftentimes there's quite a stigma around it. There's quite this ugh, like. People judge it for what it is, yet it's a professional [00:03:00] profession. It's a beautiful container and transformative in so many ways. And I think sometimes it gets a really unfortunate bad rep.
And I think now that. The coaching industry is evolving and we're starting to see more light being shined on harmful practices, which is necessary. However, I'm a big believer we also need to amplify integrity based coaches, which I know is you and within our beautiful you community and an affiliate.
Do you mind just sharing, like, When we say life coach, what are we really talking about here?
Julie Parker (she/her): Well, this seems like such a simple question, Katie, but it is in fact very nuanced and complex. And if you were to ask 10 different life coach trainers or life coach professionals who have been in the industry, maybe as long as 20 years next year or something near that, you would probably get different versions.
Of a response, and so I can only [00:04:00] give you mine, but I think it's a fairly solid one life coaching is an empowering personal development and self growth process where someone works with, a coach to help take them from where they are in their life to where it is that they want to be. Every person who comes to see a life coach of some kind, no matter what their niche is or what focus they may have, is wanting to undergo a change or transition of some kind.
They want something to be different in their life, something to be better, richer, deeper. They may want to improve their health, deepen their relationships, connect more to themselves spiritually. Could be a whole range of different things. And they've recognized that working with a coach to help them set goals, tap into their true desires and feelings.
Live a life that is maybe more aligned with their values and [00:05:00] really bring forth who they are as a person and what they want to achieve in the timeframe that they work with someone is something that they've recognized they want to do in partnership with someone rather than alone. And that's where a coach becomes, somebody who is an encourager.
A listener, a motivator, a supporter, a guide. They're not there to give advice or tell people what to do. A well timed suggestion can be a wonderful thing. I'm not saying that, we don't do
it at all. But really it's about a process of asking a client, empowering questions. To be able to tap into their inner wisdom, their inner guidance, knowing that all the answers they need are inside of them.
If they just peel back those layers and have the courage to go within to find them. And you're right. It is a beautiful, empowering, amazing process. And experience for people, [00:06:00] especially when a coach and a client find one another that are truly aligned and they can have an absolutely brilliant and wonderful experience.
I love it. I also am a trained therapist and I believe in the power of therapy and therapeutic intervention, but coaching in the latter stages of my life has my heart because I think it's something that every single person can benefit from in some way or another.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): How I found Beautiful You and why I chose it was our similar backgrounds and having our background in social work and, mental health, and then seeing the relationship between that and coaching being so symbiotic and connected yet very different.
I was a social worker for a long time and then became a coach and I love coaching. I believe in the art of coaching. I've seen that transformation you spoke so beautifully about in the clients I've worked with, but I've also experienced it as a client and I've shared this before that coaching has sometimes [00:07:00] been More healing for me in areas then some therapeutic modalities, not dismissing the role of therapy, but as an add on as an additional support.
I have found incredible layers of healing and transformation in coaching. So I full heartedly believe in it. But I love the distinction that you really . make between coaching and counseling and the importance of that. I think this is where sometimes, unfortunately, in the coaching industry, things get awfully hairy because when we say life coaching, there's a lot of life happening, right?
And when somebody comes to us with a place they're at and where they want to go. It's not uncommon for other things to bubble up to the surface. So I'm curious, when we think about life coaching and how that can be a myriad of things that someone may come to a coach with, where does the role of trauma informed care enter?
Because when we're thinking about our life, It [00:08:00] includes our identities, our cultures, the systems we exist in, as well as our lived experiences, our mental health, our physical health, all the things, and although we may not be presenting with that specific thing, it's not uncommon for that to potentially surface or impact our ability to think, feel, dream.
Julie Parker (she/her): Absolutely, Katie. This is an incredibly important area of discussion when it comes to coaching and its differentiation with counseling. And that in many ways is probably a whole other podcast because Essentially, coaching is a process that only works well, between people when someone is genuinely ready and able to engage in the coaching process.
And for somebody that either potentially or absolutely does require therapy [00:09:00] for a variety of different reasons, maybe they have, a very acute Mental illness, or they're deeply struggling with an addiction of some kind, or they're actively in a life situation that involves violence and ongoing trauma.
Coaching is not suitable for them. Because the dynamic nature of the process means that someone is not going to be able to engage well with a coach to move forward when essentially the base needs of their life are very wobbly. and have different specific needs that require therapeutic intervention.
And this is absolutely where coaches need to be trauma informed. And again, this could be a whole discussion in and of itself, like a whole episode around what that actually [00:10:00] is. And of course, is your body of work right now and something that you do so beautifully and being trauma informed is something that not only can coaches be trained in and should be trained in, but anybody who cares for other human beings and anybody who holds space for other human beings can be as well.
You do not have to have certain qualifications be a certain age, as an adult, have certain life experiences to be trauma informed. And the heart of that for me as a coach is coaches understanding their scope of practice and what it is that they can and cannot do, should and should not do. And yes, I'm going to use that word.
I'm going to get a bit teachery there for a moment.
Please do. Should and should not, sometimes that word is appropriate and this is one of those times where it's appropriate. They have an [00:11:00] understanding of their scope of practice. They know what it is that trauma is and is not. They are deeply committed to ongoing education and understanding of what those things are.
And they know how to do things like make appropriate referrals when that scope of practice starts to arrive before them with a particular potential client or client and they begin to develop an understanding that coaching is potentially no longer appropriate or appropriate at all for them and a referral to A trauma focused trauma responsive, which is a very different thing, professional is required.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): A big slow clap to all of that. I think that's so So key and I agree with you. I don't typically speak in binaries. I'm always allowing for a lot of nuance, but [00:12:00] I no longer am when it comes to the imperative nature of human care professionals, anyone holding space for people to be trauma informed.
I don't think it's possible anymore to make that. A negotiation point like it's absolutely necessary. We can't open our phones without seeing the collective systemic trauma just existing around us, let alone within our own individual experience so gone are the days we can continue to function from this very narrow belief that trauma is just this extreme thing that those people deal with.
It's all of us, and therefore. Anyone working with other people's lives and livelihood need to adopt this approach, and I always say this, it's not just for other people, it's for us too as the provider, and , when we apply this approach, the possibilities are endless, and it actually deepens [00:13:00] the relationship we're building, the engagement, and of both our clients and ourselves, their experiences and their outcomes because of prioritizing trust and safety.
And I'm grateful you explicitly said that should, because I agree it's not always warranted, but in this case, I don't think we can enter another year saying that this is just nice to have. It's a need to have at this point.
Julie Parker (she/her): I completely agree with you. Not only is it Necessary from that perspective, when we are holding space for others in a professional capacity and we're accepting money for it, because that is a whole other layer here, as well.
That means that we have a duty of care, a duty of responsibility, and so much more. When we're out there saying that we're a professional person who is a coach and hold space for people in this way. But Katie, I [00:14:00] also love the point that you've made that this is not just for what is best, I suppose, in a way for our clients.
It's also what is best for us. And I have had these conversations before, challenging conversations at times with trainee life coaches who have intimated and or outright said, but I want to. Work with people that have active trauma and or are experiencing significant mental health difficulties in varying different ways.
And I've then said to them, so what will you do if in a session when you are potentially Let's just say in inverted commas, digging in to someone's past childhood trauma. If the process of doing that causes somebody to have a psychotic break,
what will you do? How will you [00:15:00] respond? Do you have any notion of how it is that you will feel at that time? Have you ever seen that happen to someone? And suddenly the conversation takes a different turn and people begin to realize, Oh, hang on a second here. This is actually, yeah, the gates around this.
are a little bit firmer than maybe I might think they need to be. And so that's where that language of should, because that can be a traumatic experience for the space holder. If you don't know how to respond to something like that, if you're not trained and qualified to do so and if they happen more often than people might think they do, then that can end up being a very traumatic experience for you as the witnesser and the space holder that might just change the course of your life and not in a very good way. [00:16:00] And that's the last thing that we ever want to have happen for anybody that's out there doing this wonderful work.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Absolutely. I strongly believe that trauma informed care is about capacity building and it's building our capacity to understand the wholeness of others before us, and we might not fully understand, but we can honor it and that we have the capacity to witness others in their fullness and wholeness without doubts of causing further harm and to allow and do whatever we can to promote options for them to access safety in our presence all forms of safety, and I notice that people tend to swing to extremes when it comes to trauma informed care that what if someone says something about their life, and then they swing to this extreme like.
I can't support them. It's out of my scope. And I try to encourage people that of course, it depends on the context of what the person shares, but we can hold space for and bear [00:17:00] witness to someone's story without digging into it. And that we can acknowledge and affirm and thank them and hold space for somebody's story.
Because it might be a part of the context of a coaching situation, where they're maybe giving us a little history to help us better understand where they're at. That's okay. We can hold the space for that. And that's where trauma informed care actually helps you feel more confident and competent to hold that space without having to go deeper, without making them feel bypassed or like they're not seen and heard, but then to hold that moment.
And then continue the purpose or the goal of that session. And that's where I think this is so vital is that especially as we see coaching booming right now, this industry is growing at a rapid pace, and this could be in a whole other podcast. A lot of those people, are they trained? I don't know if they're actually being trained to be a coach, right?
And [00:18:00] coaching is an art and a craft and something that takes skill. It's skills based. And so I, just get a shiver of fear of thinking of all the people holding space for other people without the skill to hold space and the knowing. And We can have good intentions to support people with perhaps lived experiences of addiction or recovery or mental illness and that impact is going to be quite harmful for them.
Julie, let's wade a little more into the gray waters here. So we're seeing trauma informed care. Obviously this podcast, was born out of this new buzzword and trend. Everyone loves to call it a trend and a buzzword. We've been around for a while. You're just now hearing about it.
Welcome. But we're hearing trauma and trauma informed care become more used because we have language. And we have the courage of many people who are survivors sharing stories and people were breaking down the stigmas related to mental health, which I'm here for it, while [00:19:00] simultaneously concerned because of the misuse and the co opting of this work in a way that is not with good intention, and quite harmful.
So there are a lot of terms becoming. More popular, trauma informed coaching, trauma focused coaching, trauma resolution coaching, somatic coaching, we're seeing a lot of these terms within the trauma mental health umbrella being used. What would you suggest, or how do we navigate? Sifting through what is legit, what's not, maybe some yellow flags we should pause and consider, or any red flags we should also be like, whoa, maybe we need to step away, and maybe some green flags of okay, maybe I can move forward with curiosity.
Julie Parker (she/her): Yeah. Katie, this is such a big issue and it's a wonderful thing to talk about and I would just [00:20:00] encourage every person out there who is either a coach or a space holding professional listening to this podcast or is a client. a consumer, a customer, somebody that may access support services, which, and we can be both, of course, I've been both before.
I know you have before too in many ways to know that knowledge is power. It is that old saying of direct clear knowledge is going to be one of the things here that gives you the best. Information about whether something or someone is in inverted commas right and ethical and true and qualified and is what they say that they are and can do what they say that they can do.
[00:21:00] And the only way that we get that information is by not making assumptions. and asking questions. I am personally always delighted either when somebody personally asks me, what are your qualifications? Or with the life coach training and the academy that we do, what are the backgrounds of your trainers?
What is your accreditation, et cetera? I love it when people ask that question, or those questions, because I know that means that somebody is really taking seriously what it is that they're about to engage in, and they are educating themselves and not making assumptions about the language or the terms or things that people are saying online.
Without necessarily understanding exactly what it is that those things mean, because [00:22:00] this is where the waters do get gray and sometimes even sludgy and muddy, because one of the things that is a terminology right now that I think we do need to be very mindful of is trauma focused coaching and trauma responsive coaching that there are a lot of orange and red flags in that space for me.
Now, I'm not saying that it's all bad, but I essentially, and I know you are the same Katie, come from the perspective that no person can do trauma focused or trauma responsive anything. You can call it anything that you want. You can call it coaching, you can call it space holding, you can call it support, you can call it guidance, you can call it therapy, unless they are actually a trained professional within the psychiatry, psychology, social work, mental [00:23:00] health, therapeutic fields, which takes years and years of training at university and is a completely different thing, therefore, to what we were talking about earlier, which is trauma. informed coaching and trauma informed support, which anybody can learn. Anybody can actively engage in and do, but trauma focused and trauma responsive work is something that only can be undertaken by those professionals. And that's where that scope of practice that I was talking about came in earlier.
And. The beautiful thing and empowering thing for everybody to know if anybody's head is exploding right now and going, but I'm not understanding, and these are very complex topics is that when you are trauma informed, you deeply understand your scope of practice and will know the absolute difference between the two.
So let's just get that one right out there. That is a really positive, amazing, [00:24:00] empowering thing to know. When you are trauma informed, you know where you can go, you know where you can't go, you know what the boundaries are. And therefore, when anything may begin to move into an area that's trauma focused or needs trauma response, you will then know When it is that you need to refer out to somebody and they get another form of support.
But for anybody that's out there saying that they are a trauma focused or trauma responsive coach, and you are thinking about working with that person. Please know that you have every right and should ask that person about their qualifications, education, skills, and background. And if they're not able to clearly indicate to you that they are university degreed and qualified in areas like that showcase that they have extensive [00:25:00] experience in those areas, then what they are doing is co opting and using language in a way that they should not be.
And they should not be doing that type of work. I'm just really straightforward, straight up and clear about that. So we've got to ask questions. This is not a bad thing. It's not anything that somebody should get defensive about if they actually are clean and clear in what it is that they do and how they support people.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Yes. Thank you so much for making that so clear. I always tell people, if people are truly trauma informed and not just that they learned about it, right? Because we can take, you can Google trauma informed trainings right now and you're going to find a million of them. I was just advertised one that was like a 12 trauma informed certification.
And I was like, all right, sometimes I just want to sign up for these things just to see what they're like. But what's happening is that I get tons of ads for trauma [00:26:00] informed care trainings, but they're really getting into the details of trauma and just knowing what trauma is and digging into neuroscience,
that's not trauma informed care. That's just being really trauma aware and being educated on what trauma is. tHat's it. We can study all sorts of things. I can study roses and the genius of roses, but it doesn't make me a botanist. So we need to make sure we can really take what we understand and use it to inform within our scope of practice, which I like a lot
big believer in scope of practice. It's so integral to how I teach integrative trauma informed care, but I tell people if you are truly trauma informed, if you have been taught it and you're integrating and applying and implementing, you are going to welcome questions. You're going to ask people to ask you questions.
I delight when people ask me questions because I'm happy to answer them. And if I can't answer them, I will straight up tell you that. I actually [00:27:00] can't answer that. Or let me find someone. And that helps me gauge the edges of my scope of practice and boundaries. And that's how it should be
because when we're assuming or we're guessing, we aren't practicing trauma informed care. We need to be transparent and clear and make sure that we have those communication skills to build trust within relationships. And it is a, really interesting time to be on the internet for so many reasons.
And it likely is because the algorithm, somehow I just get. Yeah, saturated with all sorts of ads for become a nervous system care expert with this $9 course. And I'm just like, Oh, remember that social work degree? I got like $9. So I could have saved a lot of money on student loans, but I always encourage people like who is teaching these courses because some courses I look at, I'm like, I don't even know who's teaching this. Who is the [00:28:00] mystery, person teaching this? And then what is their about page? What are their learning lineage? If you don't see it, ask. And again, it's not being judgmental. It's. being informative.
We need to make informed decisions. And this sort of, maybe a beautiful segue to something I'm curious, you've been talking so openly about the current state of the coaching industry and where we're going, almost forecasting, like where are we going? And something that. Yeah. I know you've mentioned before, and I've heard from other coaches too, is that we're seeing more clients and consumers and coaches, because we're both oftentimes, being more discerning of who we trust with holding space for us and the type of space We're investing in and having held for us. I'm curious if you wouldn't mind sharing a little more about the vital nature of space holding and where we're going with this, because I think [00:29:00] still this term is something we use, we know we love, right?
This is who we are. We're space holders, but it's still a terminology when I use it. People are like, I don't know what that is. And It always makes me just gently smile because it's like we're doing it. We do it all so frequently, and many of us professionally, but I'm curious your thoughts on where we're going.
Because I think coaching in essence is the art of space holding, , not to claim the book behind me by Heather Platt, who literally wrote the art of space holding. But, it's such a necessary space to be held in. And. I get so sad to see these stories come up of harmful coaches, of people who've experienced harm, of the continuous oppressive nature of coaching, how we're still idolizing these older white men who are like, supposed to be the face of coaching, where it's really?
I don't, are we still doing that? But for those of [00:30:00] us, and this is a loaded question. Where do we think we're going and where can we infuse maybe a little hope into this because I know I have even found myself. I'm proud to be a coach, but there are moments and in certain groups of people where I dim that because of the negative stereotypes.
The people not taking us seriously, or assuming, again, assuming things and not asking me what it actually means. So that's a lot of things. Please feel free to pick whatever I just shared there, but this is the joy of a conversational podcast. I just value your perspective so much.
And I again, turn to you as somebody and point people to you as somebody, a person to listen to in the coaching industry to amplify integrity. And I think you exude and you lead your values out loud. And I think that's so important for any leader, but especially now within such an unregulated [00:31:00] field.
Julie Parker (she/her): Thank you so much for saying that Katie, that is truly an enormous compliment that I want to accept with grace, and humility, because I do believe that there are a lot of other wonderful coaches and coach trainers out there doing great work as well. And I think the first thing that I want to say is that people being critical or misunderstanding of coaches is not something that is new.
Okay. The industry itself is, technically, in its modern form. In its modern form in the way that we see it and talk about it now really only about. Between 22 and 24 years old, like it's not even really a quarter of a century old and next year, as I mentioned before, I'll be in my 20th year in this industry, more than 25 as a therapist.
And [00:32:00] so I wasn't right at the forefront, but close to it. I was near to the beginning. And people having concerns, worries, issues, questions, I don't know what that is, criticisms about coaches and coaching has always been around. It's just that it seems to shift according to whatever it is that is, if I'm being perfectly honest, the latest drama or trend that is Being discussed and I think trauma informed care and coaching and scope of practice in particular is the latest slash drama trend drama slash trend, right?
It's the big hot topic that we're talking about, right now. And I think that's a positive thing. And I also, after my nearly two decades now, have come to [00:33:00] the conclusion that people will always misunderstand and coaches and coaching to a certain extent, if they're not willing to be open and educate themselves about it.
I can also tell you that in many ways, I've seen the same things as a therapist. I practiced as a private clinician for many years, and You would think in this day and age, people would be accepting enough of therapy and therapeutic interventions in people's lives. That is not the case for everyone.
There is still a lot of people out there that believe it's BS. It's brainwashing, that is ineffective, that it is unhelpful and to some people, they may have had experiences that have been exactly that. And I don't want to dismiss that in any way, but it also saves people's lives. And it also changes people's lives in many different ways.
And so I think there is always [00:34:00] going to be a level of criticism and misunderstanding that exists for those folks who aren't open to learning more. Because if you are open to learning more, then just like when I was talking about at the top. of our chat today. This is an incredible profession. It is a wonderful way of working with people.
People can truly engage with a coach in ways that are life affirming and life changing and coaches can build clientele and businesses for themselves that truly make a difference in people's lives and collectively in a wider community as well. Where the profession is going, where we are going. Well, that's a very good question.
And one that I do not necessarily know the answer to, but what I do feel deeply with my heart is that we are going to continue to see, or I should [00:35:00] put it this way. I should say that my hope is that we become bolder and braver about not just with each other in this profession, but clients and consumers and customers as well, asking questions that help weed out those people who are unethical, who are not practicing in their scope of practice, who are promoting and marketing in ways that press pain points, that make people feel less than, that hurry, harangue, and rush people into making decisions with them, all of which, of course, is completely lacking in any level of trauma informed care and marketing, And that those people who are practicing ethically, who are trained well, who are doing beautiful space holding and beautiful work, because I agree with you.
I agree that coaching is the art of space holding. It is one of the [00:36:00] forms of art of space holding that we become stronger, that we amplify each other. That we support each other that we continue to ground into the deep art and skill and craft of what it is that we do and that we take that seriously and that we continue to elevate this profession.
That's my hope that we move in that direction and it's conversations like this one. It's podcasts like this one. It's work from people like you. that allow that to happen. That's what I hold on to. Because you're right, we have to call out the unhelpful, hurtful stuff. We also have to remember to keep elevating our good things.
Our good people, and I know that word good can be loaded and all that sort of stuff, but where we see ethical, sound, well trained, supportive [00:37:00] practice, we have to amplify those things as well. And so my hope is that we continue to do that in such a way that it then begins to elevate the profession even more and practices that are not sound and not ethical people that are not sound and well trained and ethical will not be able to survive and function in an industry that is deeply committed to being ethical and sound in all ways.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Thank you so much for sharing that, Julie.
And also, it reminds me of the conversation I had on episode 20 with Shirin Eskandani about decolonizing coaching and how we also need to be looking at ways we're still Functioning within our profession from a very colonized way and that internal dismantling and how I'm a very firm believer those practices are done in tandem and that trauma informed care and decolonization work [00:38:00] and anti oppression work are very much hand in hand. And I know being in learning spaces and sharing spaces with you that you believe in that too, and that the necessary component of coaching and I share that hope and I hold that vision with you and
as many times a day where I get frustrated and judgy, I'm always open that I can be very judgy of these ads that pop up in my feed and the newest expert of the world and trauma and all these things is that I still hold on to the hope of how we're co creating a trauma informed future and not a future that is far away, but that we're actively collaborate In now and that we are creating it, the future is now that we're actively creating and that's why I'm so dedicated to bringing on voices on this podcast that need that amplification that we're not going to see, 1 million followers and all these big [00:39:00] spaces and many people do have huge followings, but it's not about that.
It's about amplifying integrity based trauma informed, you. Ethical coaches and space holders who often don't get seen because we're busy doing the work and we're here and we're holding the spaces and we're in community and, we're leading those values out loud and not always. Need to be showy or seen because we're living that work.
And so it's a vision and a hope I share and I'm seeing, and I see so much in the communities we're a part of. And also, meeting new people who are seeing this too, in so many different professions. It really is exciting for me. And I'm excited to see where we're going to go with holding on to,
the reality of what we're also seeing, and that this isn't new. It's as old as time, but we have more tools and we have more community to not let it continue to be. What is the future?
Julie Parker (she/her): Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. [00:40:00] And I truly do believe Katie that there is. It's not so much a fine line, but there is a balance that I think when we step into this profession that we're all called to in many ways.
And that is to make sure that for everything we might want to complain about, amplify because it's not good. And make sure that we're giving warnings or sharing with other people, or this is not great, or this is questionable in some way, because that can be very educative, that we're doing double the amount of work to amplify the good things.
Otherwise, all that we end up doing is basically just gnawing away at ourselves. We're literally ripping off our own skin and heart and crumbling our own bones because that's what we're focused on. We're focused on the bad, we're focused on the not good [00:41:00] things and they exist in every single profession.
They exist in every profession, and so we have to always continue to return to looking at ways to amplify the positive, the good, the great, the life changing, and they are there in spades.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Oh, yes. Absolutely agree. Thank you so much, Julie. This conversation, I know, can take, like all my conversations, so many inroads and paths and things, and I just always appreciate talking about it.
Thanks. These things. You bring so much humility and grace and also wisdom and perspective that I think is so needed and generates and ignites that hope. So I'm so grateful and I'm eager for people to connect with you if they already haven't, with all the incredible things you're doing. And so I'm going to welcome you into my gentle spritz.
Questions. There's only three. So if you're ready, if you could describe trauma informed care [00:42:00] in one word, if you have more that's okay, what would it be?
Julie Parker (she/her): Respect.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): That's a new one. I love that. What is your current go to for nervous system care practice?
Julie Parker (she/her): I can't wait for this, for you, in your future.
It's gardening. It's being in nature with my roses and my dahlias and my hydrangeas and just sun on face, picking flowers, hands in the dirt. It's grounding. It's inspiring. Forces me. In inverted commas to slow down, to tend to something that also tends to me. It's beautiful. I have become my grandmother.
She was a prolific, wonderful, magnificent gardener, and she taught me all I know in that sense. Space [00:43:00] and it's really beautiful. And it's becoming a very big part of my life and my own self care practice, which I never really thought that it would be, but it is. And it gives so much to me.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): I love that so much. So much. What does a trauma informed future look like for you?
Julie Parker (she/her): Oh, my goodness. I almost feel slightly emotional answering this question because it's just so deeply important to me. A trauma informed future looks to me like something that is intersectional, anti racist, inclusive, respectful, caring, ethical, and boundaried.
Katie Kurtz (she/her): Julie, thank you so much for being here. Where can people connect with you or learn more about all the things you do, listen to all the things you share, and be in space and in community with [00:44:00] you?
Julie Parker (she/her): Thank you, Katie. For life coach training. You can find us at beautiful you coaching academy. com. And my personal work is that juliesuzanneparker.com
Katie Kurtz (she/her): awesome. Everything obviously linked in the show notes, Julie. It's such a gift to be, in your orbit, and to have you on this podcast. I venture a guess I'm sure you'll be back in some shape or form in the future. But for now, thank you so much for being here and just, sharing today with me and helping us co create a trauma informed future together.
Julie Parker (she/her): Thank you so much for having me, Katie.
